The A220 aircraft
Cruised through the stratosphere
But passengers in transit
Had heard of a new idea
For miles below at Heathrow
The atmospheric pressure
Was higher than it was onboard
And nicer and much fresher.
They had a referendum
To open up all the doors
Remove this cabin pressure
Some passengers clap applause.
If given independence
They’d get air from outside
Dictated to by cabin crew
Such rules they can’t abide.
The captain tried to argue
Outside they’d not survive
The cabin pressure had to be
To keep them all alive.
That was clearly rubbish
Trains don’t pressurize
Nor do our cars or buses
We’re sick of all your lies.
Both sides explained to passengers
And both were quite emphatic
This vote would change their lives a lot
But it was democratic.
They counted out the votes each way
Doors open polled fifty two
Doors staying closed just forty eight
This shocked the whole flight crew
But two back in the galley
And one deranged technician
Thought the air outside was good
And now they had permission
The passengers had decided
Closed door guys, let them bleat
We’re going to open all the doors
At twenty thousand feet.
The captain tried for compromise
Perhaps we’ll just land first
But openers they shouted back
Your cabin pressure’s cursed.
Traffic control were gob smacked
Who gave passengers a vote?
Even if you land at sea,
How d’you know you’ll float?
They chose a brand-new captain
The last one knew she was losing.
This new man was bright and blonde
And generally amusing.
“Oh come on, just get on with it,”
The passengers all cried
“Open all the blooming doors
Let democracy decide.”
© Steve Blakesley 19/10/19
Taid of Life 